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By Sophie Lloyd
Pop Culture and Entertainment Reporter
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A woman who told her "odious little perv" of a boss to "learn some manners" is been cheered online.
In a post to Mumsnet's "Work" forum on December 18, user Disinterestedx explained she'd recently graduated from college and had started her first job. She was really enjoying her new role, until an uncomfortable encounter with a company chairman at the office Christmas party left her "shaking with anger."
The incident resulted in Disinterestedx confronting the man, and although she was sober at the time, is starting to regret her decision.
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Mumsnet users were horrified by the chairman's behavior and were also concerned for Disinterestedx's job and her future.
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How Common Is Workplace Bullying?
According to the 2021 Workplace Bullying Institute survey, 30 percent of Americans have suffered abuse at work—an estimated 48.6 million people.
The survey also found that bullying has surged since 2017, with remote work actually making it more likely that someone will be targeted.
Sexual harassment at work is also a persistent problem. A 2018 survey by Pew Research Center, conducted in the wake of the #Metoo movement, found that 59 percent of women and 27 percent of men surveyed had experienced sexual harassment by a colleague.
If you're being bullied at work, career coach Tammy Gooler Loeb said the first step is reaching out for support. However, the type of help available to you depends on the organization you work for.
"Even the most normally confident person can quickly feel helpless when treated in this cruel manner," she told Newsweek.
"The range of choices they have depends on their organization's culture and infrastructure, whether they can seek help internally or may need outside counsel, whether it be a friend or a professional."
She said it is important to remember that the issue is the bully's behavior, and not you or your job performance. Nevertheless, you may still have to make some difficult decisions.
"This can range from reporting the department lead to higher authorities and dealing with that process, to going as far as deciding to leave their organization, especially if they believe they will not be supported," Gooler Loeb said.
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'I Feel Like I'm Going to Burst Into Tears'
In her post, Disinterestedx said her job is normally "easy and stress-free." As a recent graduate, the role is her first foray into the working world.
"The management are obviously happy with me and actually nominated me 'employee of the month' recently," she wrote.
"I also generally get on with people at my work and have made friends."
She initially enjoyed the Christmas party, until around 2:00 am, when she was approached by a man "in his 50s/60s."
"[He] stands really uncomfortably close to me, with his face practically touching mine, his hand touching my back," she said.
Disinterestedx's boyfriend was also there. He could tell she was uncomfortable and mouthed "are you okay?" to her across the room, but the man began interrogating her.
"He says that he's the Chair of the Board of Directors and that he's very important," she wrote.
"He starts belittling me, saying, 'What even IS your background?.' When I say that I'm an Oxford graduate, he says 'that's irrelevant.'"
The chairman asked Disinterestedx questions not relevant to her role, then laughed when she didn't know the answers, with the poster comparing the experience to "an unpleasant job interview."
"His face is centimeters from mine. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears and rush to the toilet," she said.
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When she came out of the bathroom, she was "shaking with anger." At first, her boyfriend tried to calm her down, but she walked up to the man and said: "Learn some manners, mate—there's a time and place," before giving him a "patronizing slap on the back."
"It made me feel a lot better, but I'm now wondering about whether there'll be any repercussions," she wrote.
"Do you think I acted inappropriately, or was I in my rights to assert my boundaries?"
Mumsnet users all agreed that the man was out of line, but were split on Disinterestedx's reaction.
"I've worked at places where speaking to the big boss like that would not have gone down well," said AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair.
"Hopefully he'll be too drunk to remember, but I'd spend the holidays looking for a new job," agreed PacificallyRequested.
"I don't think you telling him to back off and stop interrogating you was unreasonable, but the slap on the back crossed a line," wrote FionnulaTheCooler.
However AndrewGloubermanisaperv disagreed, writing "personally I applaud you."
"He sounds horrible. I don't think what you did is that bad considering the way he behaved towards you," said F******doodah.
"Good for you op [original poster]. I imagine he's not used to being challenged!" commented Sometimeswinning.
While Headabovetheparakeet said: "You don't want to work for an odious little perv like him."
Disinterestedx isn't the only one to share her encounter with a workplace bully online. A man recently went viral on Reddit after ruining his office bully's date, while a woman was praised for defending herself against a colleague who said she was only promoted "because of her breasts."
Have you had a workplace dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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