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By Jack Beresford
Senior Reporter
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A woman has been praised for sneaking out of a restaurant after her fiance tried to make her foot the bill for a dinner for himself and some friends.
Arguments are part and parcel of any relationship, but few topics are as divisive among couples as money. In a longitudinal study of 4,500 couples conducted by academics from Kansas State University, researchers found arguments about money were the top predictor for divorce.
The study found that disputes over money tended to take longer to recover from than any other type of argument and were often more intense, with couples using harsher language and the argument itself often lasting longer.
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But one woman's attempt at avoiding a public spat with her fiance over finances landed her in even more hot water with her partner. Her husband-to-be failed to see the situation from her perspective, although it was a very different story on social media.
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Writing under the handle Throwaway795571, in a Reddit post upvoted 23,000 times, the bride-to-be explained how, in recent times, money issues had been driving a wedge between the pair.
According to the post, the not-so-happy couple got engaged five months ago, and despite their plans to tie the knot, some things haven't changed. "We don't share finance because that's what he wants," she explained.
That was all fine until she recently got a raise that means she now earns 30 percent more than her fiance does - and he's taken note.
She said that over the past few months he's been using the fact she earns more to get her to pay for things for him and his friends. When she asks why he tells her "the 30 per cent, that's why."
On several occasions, she said she's ended up being "tricked" into paying the bill when he goes out to dinner with his friends as he will often ask "publicly." She said: "I hate confrontation especially when we're at a public place like a restaurant so I just grin and pay."
However, when he attempted to play the same trick again when they went out for dinner last week, she decided to fight back.
She had initially been convinced to come out for dinner when he insisted to her he "got this." Yet halfway through the meal he had an apparent change of heart and "whispered" to her that she " would be paying for everything he and his friends ordered."
Already "fuming" at his demands, she waited until the bills arrived and paid her share before excusing herself to go to the "restroom." She said: "I then sneaked out from there, got into my car and went home."
Her fiance began calling her on her phone saying she had put him in a difficult situation by "tricking" him into paying for their food. When he finally got home, he lashed out further, calling her "calling me selfish, irrational, cheapskate and childish for sneaking out" and leaving him with a bill that as it turned out, he couldn't pay.
Having a Rethink
His friends meanwhile urged her fiance to "reflect" on whether she was the type of woman he would want to be married to. Yet many of those following the thread thought it was she who needed to rethink things.
Madelinegumbo asked: "Why are you marrying someone who insists that his money is his money, but your money is also his money?" with XLoveInfinite commenting: "Those are some major red flags."
Gimmetots123 said: "What he's doing is abuse. Plain and simple. Run. End this. Getting married is easy, getting a divorce is hell, and some states make it take way longer than it should."
GizzieTime agreed, warning: "This is financial abuse. Don't get married. It will only get worse and he's betting on making you feel trapped." Niennabobenna added: "You need to stand up for yourself. And probably not be engaged to this person."
Newsweek reached out to u/Throwaway795571 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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