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By Leonie Helm
Life Reporter
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Taking photos of your child comes naturally to most new parents, but one mother has an important message for partners everywhere.
"My husband and I have tried to make sure we get pictures and video not only of our children but of each other sharing special moments with our children," Jordan Lee Dooley, 29, an author and podcaster in Indianapolis, told Newsweek.
In a video posted to her Instagram account, Dooley can be seen picking apples with her 6-month-old son, Shepherd. A message reads: "Dads, snap the photo, hit record and take mini home movies. Capture everyday moments of her with her babies."
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"When I first saw the clip of myself sharing my son's first apple-picking experience with him, it felt so magical and special to me," said Dooley.
She went on: "It's definitely one I'll look back on for years to come. I think it also stood out to me because I've heard several moms I know share that they are always the ones taking the photos and rarely in them unless they ask—and maybe even beg—for a family photo. And I realized how thankful I am that my husband picks up the camera to capture me making memories with my kids."
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Motherhood can cause a shift in a woman's sense of identity, as everything familiar about life gets turned upside down. Priorities and routines change, and it can feel as if the things that were worked on so hard to maintain, such as social and romantic life, are now on the back burner.
"This can cause ambivalence, anxiety and doubt—emotions that society doesn't talk about openly with new parents," says parenting website the Bump.
"It's so easy to get bogged down by the mental load and endless demands of motherhood," said Dooley. "Unintentionally, we can lose sight of our own needs and even miss out on some of the memories we're creating. Not because special things aren't happening but because it's hard to be present, as our mom brains are constantly thinking three steps ahead and focused on everyone else's needs.
"Having these memories captured—and not always having to be the one to remember to capture them—is a simple but impactful gift, as it allows us to not only be a little more present but also gives us memories to look back on in the future that we might otherwise unintentionally forget due to being distracted or overwhelmed—aka mom brain," she said.
Dooley said that by capturing these moments, her husband made her feel "seen."
"My husband picking up the camera and capturing sacred moments like these has meant the world to me because it allows me to be more present," she said. "And I don't constantly have to be the only one catching the moments I want to remember. More than anything, it has made me feel valued and seen in my role as a mom.
"It communicates to me, 'Hey, I see you. I know you're overwhelmed trying to do all the things, and I want you to be able to look back and see yourself in these memories we're making as a family. Let me help capture them so you can focus on being present and living them,'" she said.
Users on Instagram loved the idea.
"Love this! So important," commented one.
"Yesss! This is a priceless blessing in any mother's life! I would love to have those moments on film now," wrote another.
Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID in Newsweek.
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