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By Melissa Fleur Afshar
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A woman has turned to internet users for support after the date she had been on ended abruptly.
Sophia, who would prefer to keep her full identity private, shared that the man she had been on a recent date with had suddenly departed the picnic they had been on under the guise that he needed to head to work. The 28-year-old American later realized that the man may have been using work as an excuse to get out of the date.
"We were getting along well over text, but it didn't translate in person," Sophia, known online as @so.ladylike, told Newsweek. "While there was not a major spark, I didn't think it was enough to warrant making up an excuse to end the date so soon.
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"When I realized he lied about work, I couldn't help but wonder, 'What could I have possibly said or done that made him unable to stay?' You'd think I kicked a dog or told him I'm a flat earther or something," she added.
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The content creator who hosts the dating and mental health podcast Don't Tell My Therapist dished out the details to viewers online on June 19 while sitting in her car.
"I went on a date yesterday. We were supposed to go and get tacos and then eat tacos at this free concert in a park," Sophia said in the post on TikTok. "We're at this taco place and he starts continuously checking his phone, complaining about work and his boss. He says, 'Oh, my boss is emailing me right now; if this escalates, I might have to go into work.'
"We get the tacos, go to the park, lay our blankets out, and he keeps bringing up work. I said, 'If you need to go, it's OK, you can go,' and he says, 'Are you sure? I'm sorry. I feel so bad.' So, I get home and I'm annoyed because I got ready, I looked cute and the drive there took 30 minutes, so I'm, like, that was a royal waste of time," she added.
Sophia initially felt bad for the man, sympathizing over his supposedly heavy workload, but she quickly realized that he may have been lying to her all along. She ended the viral clip by adding that the man hasn't contacted her since their failed date, hinting that she may have been ghosted.
"If the work excuse had been real, he would have apologized and rescheduled, so his silence confirmed it was a lie," she said.
Ghosting is a modern phenomenon where an individual abruptly cuts off all communication with someone they have been in contact with, often leaving the other person without any explanation. This behavior, prevalent in both personal and professional relationships, can lead to confusion and emotional distress for the person who has been ghosted.
The term, which was popularized on social media, stems from the concept of becoming like a ghost and vanishing without a trace. The use of the phrase grew from online dating sites and apps.
"Later that night, I was, like, wait a second...It did not occur to me until later that night that what if he made all of that up just to get out of the date early? I don't think it was true. I don't think it was his boss emailing him. I think that he just wanted to get out of the date," Sophia said.
"In an ideal world, people would be more radically honest in dating—it would save a lot of guesswork, self-doubt and anxiety," she added.
More than 652,000 users have watched Sophia's clip in the five days since it was shared online. Her retelling of events sparked discussion in the comments section, where many users agreed she may have been ghosted.
"He's married. No questions," one user, @melodiemichelle405, wrote.
Another, @0kay000, added: "You're literally beautiful, so I don't think it's your looks in anyway. What if he was married?"
"You should have stayed. It freaks them out when you say, 'no problem, I'm staying. See ya,'" a third user, @ann8dote, shared.
Another, @cathy6850, posted: "You are much more trusting than me. I immediately thought he was texting another girl."
"Very odd. You look gorgeous and you exude positive energy. Don't give up," @gettheludez, added.
"Many people speculated that it might have been a girlfriend or wife texting him, or perhaps he simply didn't like me or found a better option," Sophia said. "Ultimately, I'll never know the real reason, and it's not worth losing sleep over because he made it clear that he's not the person for me!
"I still believe my person is out there. My advice? Be so confident in yourself that you have the luxury of taking your time and being picky in choosing a partner."
Update, 6/25/24, 2:20 p.m. ET: This article was updated with comment from Sophia, the original poster.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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