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By Alyce Collins and Jaicea Hazelwood
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If you asked me to describe my twenties, I would tell you they were pretty typical. I was working out regularly, spent time with friends and family, and I went to work every day, just like everyone else.
There really was nothing out of the ordinary. At least, that was what I thought.
For a long time, I struggled with undiagnosed anxiety and depression, but I believed I was managing it well. I stuck to my usual routines, but something started to feel different in early 2025.
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By the spring and early summer, I was overly anxious and felt extremely paranoid. That certainly was not the norm for me, but, not knowing any better, I just chalked it up to anxiety.
At the time, I was in a "situationship" with someone, and I thought it was working for us both, until he ghosted me. It was like something inside me snapped, and these delusions, hallucinations and paranoia became debilitating.
The paranoia came from a fear of him hurting me because I did not tell him what he wanted to hear. I thought he was following me everywhere or was going to be waiting for me at my home whenever I returned.
The anxiety left me unable to eat or sleep, which affected my physical and mental energy levels. I constantly felt exhausted and mentally drained, but I could never fall asleep or stay asleep because my brain would not shut off. I was probably getting three or four hours of sleep each night, until my body was so exhausted and I would sleep for over 12 hours. After that, the cycle would repeat.
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I convinced myself that my ex had ghosted me because he was going to show up unannounced and surprise me. I would go outside my complex and just walk around looking for him because I thought that maybe he couldn’t find my place, or perhaps he was lost. I ended up seeing his truck drive around three times, so I went inside and then I saw him standing in my living room.
Moments later, he was gone.
I ran to my room and saw him lying on my bed.
And then he was gone.
I immediately got in my car and drove to his house to see if he was there, or if he had anyone over and then I drove back home. When I parked, I looked over and I saw myself in the passenger seat.
It genuinely felt like my brain was swirling around my head.
Everything from the next week remains a blur. I just remember being so exhausted. I was on edge and paranoid that he was still going to come around and hurt me. The delusions were scenarios I created in my head, but I was adamant that they were going to become a reality. It was not just him who I was scared of either, as I thought my friends were out to get me.
I was anxious, paranoid and depressed all the time, leaving me with zero motivation to do anything. I started falling behind at work and not doing my job properly, before eventually skipping work entirely, which is not like me at all. I also stopped working out, started eating less and I was just miserable***.***
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‘My Brain Was in Overdrive and Reached Its Burnout’
The day after the hallucinations left me spiraling in June 2025, I knew I needed help.
I searched Google for a mental health facility, and I called the first one that popped up. I begged them for help because I was absolutely terrified, so they scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist for a week later.
For around four months, I blamed anxiety, having no idea what I was actually experiencing was psychosis.
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The days and weeks after the psychosis episode were miserable. My brain was in overdrive for so long, and it finally reached its burnout.
My psychiatrist put me on antipsychotic medication for the next few months, as well as medication to help with my anxiety and depression. I struggled to get used to the meds at first and could not regulate my emotions for a while.
But I was finally getting help.
‘A Night and Day Difference’
More than a month after the episode, I was still very anxious and paranoid, but I was starting to sleep better. That, I knew, was a start.
By August 2025, I was still struggling mentally, but the medication was working. I was able to start doing things that I enjoyed again, and I decided to attend the Gracie Abrams concert I had tickets for. I did not know if I would make it for a while, but I was beginning to see a return to my old self.
That one night gave me hope and made me realize that I was not going to be miserable forever. It gave me a break from my own mind—if only for a few hours.
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January 2026 marked a major turning point for me, as I finally felt good enough to start exercising again. I started out slow, but I told myself this was the year I’m going to run a half-marathon. I quit a few times when I thought I couldn’t do it and was not determined enough, but ultimately, I reminded myself how awesome it would be to overcome the obstacles I went through and run my first half-marathon.
I have been running consistently now for four months and can complete seven miles so far. I also have 13 weeks of training left until my first race.
Running helps me disconnect from everything and focus on the moment in front of me. It has helped me connect with nature and focus on being present. It’s helped me take time to reflect on the good and opened my eyes to just how much better I am doing now, especially compared to one year ago.
Overall, I am a complete 180 of a person than I was before. I don’t even recognize the old me because of how much I have grown mentally. I am doing much better at work, eating balanced meals, staying hydrated, and of course, working out, either through running or going to the gym. There is a night-and-day difference between me this time last year and me now.
I am levelheaded and can think rationally, which I was not doing before. My mood is also very balanced and hardly have any down days.
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I know it is going to sound cliche, but it truly does get better. You have to lean on the people who love you and trust that they are truly there for you. As much as medication will help, don’t rely solely on them to heal you. You must put in the work yourself. It’s a bumpy road, but it will become smooth eventually.
Jaicea Hazelwood, 28, from Murfreesboro, Tennessee, is training to run her first half-marathon later this year, after discovering how healing running can be. She has documented her recovery from psychosis on social media (@jaicea.penny on TikTok) to educate others on the realities of mental health.
Contact Newsweek editors on this story: Charlotte Nisbet and James Debens
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