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By Daniella Gray
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A mom from Atlantic Canada has spoken out after a TikTok video of her wearing headphones while holding her crying baby drew accusations of "neglect."
Cassidy Frizzell, 30, cradles her 1-month-old son while wearing over-ear headphones in the follow-up clip. In the caption, Frizzell said that her baby’s basic needs are "always met" and maintaining a calm, regulated state as a parent is essential.
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"Headphones help to keep me calm and regulated because it decreases the intensity of his crying, while still being able to hear him," Frizzell told Newsweek. "I don’t use them every time he cries, and usually only resort to this whenever I am starting to feel overwhelmed."
She added that wearing headphones never stops her from talking to her son, soothing him or checking his needs.
When her video first began circulating—initially recorded on Snapchat as an update for friends and family, then later shared on TikTok—the reaction was harsh.
"I was originally surprised by people saying that this was neglect," Frizzell said. "It bothered me at first, but I quickly switched perspectives when I reminded myself that people will always have varying opinions, and I’m also aware of how I am as a mother, and know that I give so much love to my sweet boy, regardless if I need to use headphones every now and then."
Frizzell first learned about safe coping strategies before leaving the hospital, including guidance for what is known as the PURPLE (Peak of crying, Unexpected, Resists soothing, Pain-like face, Long-lasting and Evening) period of crying—a developmental phase many newborns experience.
"I was told … to put the baby in a safe place and walk away for 10 minutes to calm down, but my version of this is choosing to wear headphones so I can still sit with him through those moments," Frizzell said.
Ellen Haines, the founder of Calm Mama, a meditation app for moms, previously told Newsweek that there is "no one size fits all" approach.
"When your children are in the care of safe people they love and trust, taking time away is absolutely good for them and for you," Haines said. "It doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your child; it often helps you return more present, centered, and grateful for your family. It’s also OK to ask for help—whether that’s from family, friends, or your community. We’re not meant to do motherhood alone."
Hundreds of TikTok users commented on Frizzell’s second clip—many of whom agreed that moms get overwhelmed.
"I’ve always said this. Headphones. Baby cries and mommy doesn’t get burnt out," one user wrote.
"This is how you protect your mental health while still protecting your child. The haters are gonna hate no matter what," another said.
A third user added, "Nothing neglectful about it. You are there caring for and attending to baby, don’t have to subject yourself to crying that will only end up stressing you out."
Frizzell said that the response started to shift after she shared how she continued to comfort her baby while wearing the headphones.
"There was a very negative reaction with the first video … but with the second video … I started to get more positive feedback," she said. "There were, of course, still mixed reactions … which is OK because I know that this is something that works for me, and if it helps out some other parents too, that’s great."
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