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By Lucy Notarantonio
Senior Reporter
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As I stare down at my pregnancy bump, it is crazy to think that so many strangers have different opinions on my daughter growing inside me.
These days, there are many ways to parenthood, whether it’s adoption, IVF, or a sperm donor. In my case, it’s the latter two.
Even though I am married to a man, we couldn’t use his sperm because he was born female. Before transitioning, Taylor froze his eggs, something I encouraged him to do.
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Now I am seven months pregnant with our first child, who is biologically Taylor’s, and, in the future, I will use my own eggs.
We met on a dating app in 2016, when I was 22 and he was 32. At the time, there wasn’t a transgender gender option so Taylor, who presented as male but hadn’t started medically transitioning, selected female.
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As a pansexual woman, I was open to meeting anyone. Gender has never been the most important thing to me. I care much more about the connection I have with someone.
After experiencing a few dud dates through online dating, meeting Taylor was a breath of fresh air. We instantly connected, and I was initially attracted to his cheeky smile.
He made me feel settled right away and made me laugh. I never felt as if I had to fill any awkward silences or force the conversation.
I was studying fine art at the time, and we bonded over surrealist paintings. Before long, we were going on dates to museums and galleries together.
A couple of weeks after we met, Taylor told me that he was transgender. It didn't matter to me at all. My first thought was simply to understand how I could support him. I've always been nurturing. That's just who I am.
Some people might not know what to do or say when their partner tells them they are transgender, but I was open to learning.
Taylor, from Transylvania, Romania, hadn't lived in London for long so he had no idea how to go about transitioning. I helped him every step of the way.
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The first step in Taylor's transition was visiting his doctor before being referred to a gender clinic and undergoing two psychological assessments.
Then he started testosterone, but before taking the hormone medication, he was given the option to freeze his eggs, and eight were retrieved.
Over the years, I have supported him through different stages of his transition. I always said we should approach the journey with a sense of excitement. Slowly but surely, I watched the physical changes happen. His mustache started coming through, his voice changed and, month by month, other differences became noticeable.
Watching the person you love physically change can feel like unknown territory.
Taylor had mixed emotions. He was excited, but it was nerve-wracking for him as he waited for the physical changes, whereas I was excited and happy to see his dreams coming true.
But the changes happened so gradually that we were able to move into that new reality together. Over time, I noticed things such as his jaw becoming wider, more facial hair appearing and even changes around his shoulders.
He had top surgery in October 2019 and a hysterectomy in November 2023.
Eighteen months into our relationship, we got engaged in Disneyland Paris. As our relationship became more serious, we started talking about having children.
We both knew we wanted to be parents, so we looked into reciprocal IVF—a procedure that allows both partners to be physically involved in the pregnancy, with one providing the eggs, which are fertilized with donor sperm, and the other carrying and giving birth to the baby.
I suggested using Taylor's eggs. Before getting married in August 2025, we picked a sperm donor and then, once we tied the knot, we were ready to start the IVF process.
When choosing a donor, the most important thing to us was finding someone healthy. Beyond that, there wasn't anything that we were looking for.
Our first round of IVF in March was unsuccessful, which was gutting, but I was determined to try again.
In total, we have spent around $15,000, but our daughter is worth every dime.
I am now 28 weeks pregnant and looking forward to meeting our baby girl in January.
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Our journey to becoming parents might not look conventional to everyone, and some people don't understand why we have chosen to do it this way.
But there are so many different routes to parenthood. Some people adopt, some use surrogates and others go through fertility treatment. Reciprocal IVF is simply another option.
If sharing our experience can help someone else realize that this route to having a family exists, then that is what we want to focus on.
As she grows up, we intend to be open with our daughter about her dad's journey in an age-appropriate way. We want that openness to be there from the beginning, as soon as she is old enough to understand.
We also want to teach our children that there are many different types of people and families in the world, and that they should never judge someone for being different.
Taylor has no plans to hide who he was before his transition. He isn't ashamed of his past.
Ultimately, I want people to see us for what we are: two people who love each other and are building a happy family together.
Taylor is transgender, but that doesn't stop us from having a loving marriage or becoming parents.
We're real people, and right now we're just incredibly excited to meet our little girl and become parents.
Chloe Winters is a 33-year-old content creator and social media manager from London.
Contact Newsweek editors on this story: Marc Vargas and Tony Phillips.
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