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By Daniella Gray
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A single word swap in one family’s home has sparked an online debate.
Angelica Daniell, 38, posted a clip on TikTok (@angelica_daniell) asking viewers if they are a "what" or a "yes" family.
“I came from a family that responds with ‘whats’ and we still do to this day,” Daniell, currently stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, with her husband Jonathon, 43, and their three children: 13, 11 and three, told Newsweek.
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“Truthfully, I have no issue with the word ‘what’ [but] now I just prefer to say yes and expect that from my kids as well.”
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From the time her kids could talk, Jonathan encouraged them to answer with “yes” instead. In explaining the choice, Daniell said it came from a conscious effort to model at home the behavior they hope their children will carry into the world.
“Our home is the dress rehearsal and the world is the stage,” she said. “If our kids say ‘yes’ to us, our hope is they will also say it to their teachers, friends [and] coaches.”
According to the mom of three, the shift has subtly changed the tone of daily interactions. She believes responding with “yes” sets up calmer, more respectful exchanges and encourages thoughtfulness.
“One of my main goals as a person is to have peace in every setting and our home is no exception,” Daniell said. “Our kids tend to lean more toward [thoughtfulness] with their words, but at the end of the day they are kids, and they’re going to test boundaries daily.”
Daniell's clip has gone viral on TikTok, clocking up over 1 million views and comments. The reaction has been mixed, with many users weighing in on whether they’re a “what?” or a “yes?” person.
One mom shared that she came from a proud “what?” family. “Why should the kid come to you, when it’s you that wants to talk to them? Shouldn’t the one that has something to say, go to the one that is busy doing whatever they are doing?” she wrote.
“I was a ‘yes ma!’ because just yes was disrespectful and what was EXTREMELY disrespectful,” another added.
A third user asked whether Daniell and Jonathon go to their kids when they’re called. “Of course—it’s reciprocal,” Daniell responded.
The clip’s reception surprised her. “A lot of people were appalled that I ever said ‘what?’ to my parents in the first place,” Daniell said.
Many commenters thanked her and said they planned to try it themselves, while others criticized the approach as “militant” or overly strict—an assumption Angelica noted may stem from the fact that her husband is in the Army.
Licensed marriage and family therapist and parent education specialist Lesley Lasker said the distinction may seem small, but it can meaningfully affect family dynamics.
“By teaching children to say ‘yes?’ instead of ‘what?’, you are creating a powerful shift in communication that suggests willingness,” Lasker told Newsweek. “It moves the communication from an abrupt and potentially rude interaction to a more willing and collaborative interaction.”
Lasker added that language can even influence a child’s nervous system. Saying “yes?” verbalizes a positive response and creates calm, positive engagement she said. “This small proactive step can significantly increase the harmony within a home and reduce potential friction in family life,” she said.
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