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By Daniella Gray
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The decision to have children is one of the biggest choices a person can make, and for one millennial woman, it's not one she's taking lightly.
When Jess Bolton (@human.jess), a writer and content creator based in Oxford, England, posted a reel on Instagram sharing her uncertainty about motherhood, she expected a conversation, but was left surprised by the response.
"I don't know whether or not I want to have kids, but whenever I talk about it on my Instagram, I'm always really drawn to the women who tell me that they regret it or that if they could go back, they wouldn't do it again. There are a lot of them," the 32-year-old said in her clip.
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According to Bolton, around 20 percent of parents who responded to her polls expressed regret, not because they don't love their children, but because they hadn't fully understood how much their lives would change. The remaining 80 percent were confident in their choice.
"It's important that we can all see our experiences represented, especially when it comes to something as important as the decision on whether to become a parent," Bolton told Newsweek.
"We don't want people to become parents if it's not the right choice for them, for their sake and the sake of their potential children. Having more information helps us to make more informed choices."
The post, which has been viewed 987,000 times, sparked a mixed response. Some women thanked her for talking openly about a topic often swept under the rug. Others, however, were quick to criticize.
"I think a phrase that keeps me sane and not guilt tripping myself into an answer is this: I'd rather regret not having kids, than regret having them," one Instagram user shared.
"You're never going to regret a life!" a second wrote.
Another user agreed with Bolton that having children is something people need to be 100-percent sure about. "If there is any doubt in your mind, then the answer is no," they wrote.
"When I talk about being unsure if I want kids, I've been called selfish, immature and told that motherhood is my purpose in life," Bolton said. "There's a certain amount of irony there."
One of Bolton's biggest fears about if she should or shouldn't have children is the trade-off; giving up a life she now loves for the next one she may not.
"I know that motherhood will make big demands on my body, my time and my career. The question is whether, on balance, it will make me happy or not, and whether I will be a good parent under those conditions. I can't know the answer to that for sure, but at the moment my gut is telling me no," she said.
Still, she remains open to the possibility: "I'm very prepared for that to change—who knows what the future will bring?"
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