Photo-illustration by Newsweek/Getty/Response to Man's TikTok About Pottery Date
By Maria Morava
Relationships Reporter
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A man's insecure reaction to a date who showed talent has gone viral on TikTok.
The video, posted by Luke Morgan @justlukemorgan is of himself feeling "inadequate" on a pottery painting date with a woman who happened to have artistic gifts. Since being posted on January 28, it has received 130,000 likes on TikTok.
"Went pottery painting with the girl I'm dating and she's actually a good painter so I feel inadequate now," he wrote over the video. He then cut to a plate his date was painting strawberries on and compared it to a mug he had painted.
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"Never doing this again," he wrote at the end of the video.
Comments rolled in urging Morgan to overcome his feelings of inadequacy and connect over doing something fun with his date.
"Please do more things like this with her. It's not a competition and it makes great memories," user @vicnod wrote, saying that her boyfriend won't do similar things with her because of his insecurities.
"Is dating a competition?" TikToker @camivetteg wrote. "I'll never forget the guy that took me bowling and acted like such a baby because I was better."
Brooke Box, a relationship coach and author of Relationsh*t: A Practical Guide to Stepping Out of Fear, Navigating Big Relationship Change, and Living Your Best Life, spoke to Newsweek about Morgan's urge to compare himself to his date.
"I believe the urge to compete with our dates/partners regarding hobbies, proficiencies, and talents stems from various factors, including societal pressures, insecurities, and a desire for validation," she said. "While a healthy level of competition can sometimes be motivating and fun, it's essential to recognize when it becomes detrimental to the relationship."
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Some commenters said they've experienced the worst-case scenario with competition in their relationships, calling it a red flag.
"Dumped after beating a guy at air hockey," user @miss.elizabeth.grey wrote.
"I had an ex who demanded we leave Top Golf because 'everyone is staring at us while you beat me,'" TikToker @abunchofmarlarkey wrote.
Box says that instead of viewing dates or partners as threats - an experience that seems common in the comments section of Morgan's video - couples should encourage each other's good qualities and pursuits.
"Embracing differences and appreciating each other's unique qualities can strengthen the bond between partners and create a more fulfilling connection," she said.
The key to preventing the red flag of insecurity and competition from developing into something harmful is mutual respect, Box says.
"Ultimately, the key is to prioritize open communication, empathy, and mutual respect. Rather than seeing each other as rivals, partners should strive to uplift and encourage one another."
Morgan posted a follow up video in response to commenters on his TikTok: "I'm just not good at it, but I still really enjoyed it, which is the main thing," he said.
Morgan revealed the final, fired product in the video, and his polka dot mug received praise in the comments.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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