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By Alice Gibbs
Senior Reporter
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A man has been backed for correcting his wife's ex when the man called him his child's nanny.
In a post on Reddit, subreddit user Greg—u/gregsol—wrote that he has been with his wife for 8 years. She has a daughter with her ex, Mark, and the couple have two children together.
"As I've been one of Santana's primary caretakers for the past 7 years—since I moved in with her mom—I've taken care of her more than Mark has and we are quite close," the poster wrote. "My wife and I went onto have 2 children together, who are now 5 years and 18."
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A stay-at-home dad [SAHD], he added that Mark often mocks him for his choice. "Mark has always felt insecure about my place in Santana's life. I've always encouraged her relationship with her dad, while also been a place she can go to in order to vent about both her parents," wrote Greg. "I've never asked her to call me dad, but I've made it clear I love her the same as her siblings. Mark also mocks me for my SAHD role. My wife always shuts him down and I just ignore him."
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While his wife usually picks up and drops off her daughter from her dad Mark's house, she was sick recently, and instead the stepdad went to collect her. But when Greg arrived to collect his stepdaughter, things got uncomfortable.
"He was throwing a BBQ and had some family there. I had never met any of them. Santana ran into my arms, excited to see me and shouting my name. A few people looked at Mark curiously. He laughed and said, 'That's Santana's nanny,'" the poster wrote. "I shook my head and said, 'I'm her stepfather, Greg. Nice to meet you all.' Mark turned red and barely said goodbye to Santana."
Keeley Taverner, psychotherapist and founder of Key for Change, told Newsweek: "As it is clear, the biological father has an issue with the stepfather. He took a public situation as an opportunity to humiliate him—not nice.
"The stepfather would be encouraged to consider his options moving forward. He can discuss this with his wife," Taverner added. "One option is that he does not do a pickup again. Another idea is that he does not go alone and may bring his children with him, or opts to not enter his property and will wait outside to exchange the child."
Later, the dad sent a message to his ex, slamming the poster for speaking up at the BBQ.
"Mark texted my wife later saying I 'humiliated him' and given I'd likely never see those people again; I shouldn't have said anything. My wife told him he's overreacting, and he then texted me, saying I had no right to correct him in his own home," the poster wrote.
Co-parenting can be difficult, and issues often arise between adults in these situations. But, when it comes to solving disagreements, Taverner had some suggestions.
"The quality of the relationships matter, and the stepfather has been bruised by the interaction," she said. "If all three parties are open to discussion, that may be helpful. But it depends, as the stepfather could be being 'baited.' As such, it is maybe in his best interest to talk with his wife and consider applying the strategies above to avoid further interaction and disrespect."
Online, Reddit users shared their thoughts and overwhelmingly said that it was right to correct his wife's ex.
"Mark must be feeling really insecure about himself that's for sure," wrote Reddit user CompleteSavant878. "You're going great Greg."
Evolutioncocktail posted: "Can you imagine having so little self esteem that you choose to insult someone who loves your child? Especially when the alternative is [checks notes] also loving your child."
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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