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Disciplining kids can be tricky. Parents try the old star chart, then scolding, punishing, maybe even a swat or two. Bad news: Alan Kazdin, the new president of the American Psychological Association, says none of it will help much. His new book, "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills," in stores this week, lays out a different approach. He spoke with NEWSWEEK'S Peg Tyre.
How did parents get this wrong?
If you see a negative behavior in your child, you're going to respond. The behavior changes instantaneously. But in the long run, the response doesn't keep the behavior from happening again.
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What do you suggest for a, uh, friend whose 7-year-old has a tantrum at bedtime?
The key is focusing on the behavior you want rather than on the behavior you don't. Then create situations where your child can practice that [good] behavior, even if you have to simulate or fake it.
You mean like playacting? Isn't that kind of weird?
Maybe. But good behavior needs to be practiced like a musical instrument. The more you practice, the more you get it down. It's not rocket science.
Will it work on husbands? Bosses? Co-workers?
These principles are used in business and industry all the time. It works.
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