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By Alyce Collins and Melissa Frisby
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Family trips are always memorable, but I will remember the vacation I took in September 2022 for a different reason. I remember jumping into the sea with my son, and immediately after, I got a nosebleed. It seemed so strange at the time, but I also felt soreness in my nose.
I had not suffered any sort of injury, so I just thought it was irritation from hay fever or something.
But once I got the nosebleed under control, I felt a small lump in the top left of my nose. Suddenly my concern shifted and I was nervous that I had broken my nose somehow, although I had no explanation as to how.
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I went to the emergency room out of caution, and the doctors said they could see a slight deviation at the top of my nose, suggesting a break, but I had no real injury or pain. I was referred to an ENT team for further investigation, and when the consultant looked inside my nose, they said I had a bad infection. I was admitted to the hospital straight away and sent for a CT scan the next morning.
That CT scan showed that, essentially, the left side of my nasal bridge was no longer there. There was severe destruction and I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis, an infection of the bone. They needed to act fast, so I went in for emergency surgery to have a drain fitted and a PICC line for intravenous antibiotics. I stayed in the hospital for a week and was then sent home with six weeks’ worth of medication.
You’d think the recovery would be linear, but once I got home, my nasal bridge kept getting bigger and more painful. A week passed and I could not take it anymore, so I went back to the hospital.
Once again, I was admitted and sent for another CT scan. This time it was different as the results showed that a gray area present in the first scan was still there, and it had grown. The consultant suggested it could be a soft tissue mass and asked if she could take a biopsy from inside my nostrils. Even when she said that I never even considered cancer.
As I was leaving that room and walking back to the ward, it was like a dark cloud came over me. Suddenly I had this realization that I could have cancer in my face.
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‘I Didn’t Care, I Just Wanted to Live’
I did not have to wait long for the follow-up MRI, but then it was a three-week wait for the results.
On November 7, I got the phone call. The receptionist asked if I had anyone with me, so I knew it was bad. She told me when to come back in and I hung up the phone and broke down. My husband came rushing over, totally confused. I told him about the call and thankfully he stayed calm, reassuring me.
When I returned, the consultant gently told me I had cancer. I was diagnosed with sinonasal squamous cell carcinoma which originated in my sinuses and spread into the nose, bone, and skin.
I was only 35 years old, and my immediate thought was about my family. My children were 8, 9, and 13 at the time and I didn’t know how I would tell them. I was terrified of leaving them behind, so I asked the consultant if I was going to die. She said, “We are going to treat to cure. We will do everything we can.”
Later that month, I went in for surgery without knowing how much of my nose would be removed. If they could save my nostrils, I would have reconstructive surgery. If that wasn’t possible, I would have a complete rhinectomy and prepare for implants to hold a prosthetic nose.
When I woke up from surgery, the first thing I checked was to see if my nostrils were still there. They were! However, the rest of my nose and entire septum were gone. The only thing remaining was the skin from my nostrils and the tip of my nose.
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There was not much time to recover though, as my next surgery was just one week later. That was when they began to reconstruct my nose by taking a bone graft from my rib cartilage, and a skin graft from my forehead. My nose was packed with gauze, I had an open wound on my head, and my entire face was swollen.
I didn’t care what the doctors did—I just wanted to live. People call me brave, but I didn’t feel brave. I felt the most vulnerable I’d ever felt in my life.
Healing from that was so painful, but my next surgery was the end of December. That was to detach the forehead flap and to put my eyebrow back into place. Once we let everything heal properly, I then had to move onto six weeks of radiotherapy.
Altogether, I’ve had 10 procedures under general anaesthetic—one for removal, three for reconstruction, and the rest for infections.
Before starting treatment, my 9-year-old daughter asked me who would do her hair for school when I was sick. I promised her that no matter how sick I felt, I would always get up and do her hair. That promise stayed with me, and no matter how ill I felt, I got up and I did my little girl's hair. There were many mornings when I didn’t want to get up and face the world, but I made it a personal mission to keep my promise—so I did.
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‘I Didn’t Just Lose My Nose, I Lost My Identity’
I still have some function in my nose, but my smell and taste aren’t the same. I can still breathe through my nose, but I mouth breathe mostly. My skin has aged, and I’ve been left with a facial difference, lots of scarring, and a nose that is severely broken, so I suffer with PTSD.
My medical-grade prosthetics are brilliant, but they make it difficult to clean my nose throughout the day, so I only wear the prosthetics on special occasions.
I didn’t just lose my nose and my health; I lost my identity. I struggled with that more than anything else. My amazing husband has stood by my side and completely accepted this new version of me.
My children are now 12, 13, and 17, and because I fought to be here, I got to see three more Christmases, got to see my youngest two children have their first day at high school, I got to be there as my eldest son went to prom and I get to watch my daughter grow into a beautiful young woman. I get to watch them grow, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
My cancer is extremely rare, but head and neck cancers in general aren’t. I don’t want to frighten anyone who might be going through something similar. I want mine to be a story of hope and to show people that, no matter how difficult things get, life is precious and worth fighting for.
Melissa Frisby, 38, lives in Leeds, United Kingdom, with her husband and their three children. She has been using social media (@mel_frisby on TikTok) to document her recovery and raise awareness for cancer. Her new reality has not been easy to live with, but acceptance is a key part of her healing and allowed her to rebuild her life.
Correction 07/23/26, 9:45 a.m. ET: This article was updated with additional information.
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