...
By Alice Gibbs
Senior Reporter
0
Share
Newsweek is a Trust Project member
See more of our trusted coverage when you search.Prefer Newsweek on Googleto see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
A woman has been cheered for yelling at her brother-in-law and leaving after he woke her up and told her to make the dinner.
In a viral post on Reddit from June 27, user u/Adept_Conclusion_551 wrote that she and her family were staying with her brother-in-law, Sean, after a house fire. Despite him taking them in, the woman added that she and Sean had always had a volatile relationship.
"I don't like Sean as he believes in a traditional gender roles in a household. We have had issues since he realised I would keep my maiden name at work, which I informed him was none of his business and my personal choice," the poster wrote. "He works full time and his wife is a housewife. When we had our sons, Sean thought I would quit my job as a doctor and become a stay-at-home-mom."
Read More
Reason Why Bride Walked Out on Wedding Day Applauded: ‘Run’4 min read
Wife Putting In-Laws in Nursing Home So Own Parents Can Move in Cheered5 min read
Woman Uninviting Brother From Wedding for Not Liking Her Baby Names Dragged4 min read
...
But the poster had stayed at her job, with her husband doing the majority of the childcare. They had discussions about Sean's assumptions and since then things had been calmer—until recently.
"Yesterday was a very hectic day at work, and I was exhausted. My shift ended midday and I went straight to bed," the poster wrote.
With everyone else out of the house, she rested after work: "Sean got home first and woke me up. I was upset and still tired and when I asked him why, he said I should make a start on dinner as it was getting late and his wife was out and not picking up her phone," she wrote. "I kicked him out the room and told him I was going back to sleep and he could sort out his own dinner."
Later that evening, when the poster woke up, she was stunned that her brother-in-law confronted her about the argument again.
"Sean told me that while I was under his house I needed to respect his house rules. I told him he could've cooked himself, heated leftovers in the fridge or got takeaway," she wrote. And despite her husband agreeing she was right, he told her she overstepped the mark by yelling and escalating the situation.
After the argument, she wrote that her friend offered her a place to stay and she promptly decided to leave her brother-in-law's home. "I spoke to a friend who said we are welcome at hers. I told my husband I was leaving with the kids, and he was welcome to join me or stay at Sean," she added.
"My sister-in-law has called to apologize for my brother-in-law's behavior and I have not heard from him at all, he was silent to me and only talked to my husband and the kids," the poster wrote.
"Couples usually work out their expectations of each other when it comes to their roles fairly early in a relationship," relationship expert Rhian Kivits told Newsweek. "When it comes to extended family members living together, there can be problems, because individual members may have strong or fixed views about gender roles, and they may impose expectations on other family members that cause offence or conflict."
Arguments over perceived gender roles aren't uncommon. In April, a man divided opinion after he refused to carry his wife's purse. A woman stunned the internet last August by showing how she taught her husband of 32 years how to wash his own clothes.
"When extended families decide to live together, even if this is a temporary arrangement, it's important that they sit down and chat about their expectations and wishes of each other," said Kivits. "It's not pleasant to be expected to adhere to house rules that don't match up with her own core values. If she isn't willing to fit in with her brother-in-law's bigoted ideas about what women should be doing, it's perfectly understandable since it is 2023, not 1953."
In the 1,600 comments, people on Reddit seemed to agree. "Wow. A fully capable adult waking up another adult to get her to make dinner for him. That's so mind-blowingly rude and ridiculous," wrote one commenter.
Another posted: "Seems to me like Sean didn't take you in out of the goodness of his heart, he took you in so he could have a second servant."
Newsweek reached out to u/Adept_Conclusion_551 for comment via Reddit messaging. We were not able to verify the details of this case.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
View 0 Comments
Submit Correction
View Editorial & AI Guidelines