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By Alyce Collins
Senior Reporter
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When Laura Armstrong sadly lost her husband in April 2023, she felt as though her joy and purpose in life had gone with him. They didn't have a will, weren't married, and she was left with nothing.
She never could have expected that the quirky hobby she started doing at night would completely turn her life around.
Armstrong, 54, was with her partner Christopher for 15 years but never married. They held a Viking-style ceremony in 2014 to share their love, and although it wasn't legally binding, it was more than enough for them.
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However, on April 2, 2023, Christopher died of a massive heart attack. Armstrong didn't cope well with becoming a widow, telling Newsweek that she will "never get over the loss." But she didn't just love the love of her life, as Armstrong, of Bellingham, Massachusetts, was also about to lose her home and the business she and Christopher built together.
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After his passing, Armstrong said Christopher's family stepped in and laid claim to all of his assets. Armstrong was helpless because they weren't married and didn't have a will, leaving her with nothing apart from their dog, Hondo, a 205 pound Kangal Shepherd Dog.
"It became a long legal fight and I didn't want to keep going through it," Armstrong said. "I had already lost my husband, my daughters were watching me fall apart, and I knew I couldn't keep putting them through it. So, I agreed to settle and move on. Not because it felt fair, but because I had to find a way to survive."
As she struggled to cope with her new reality, Armstrong stopped sleeping, couldn't work out, was afraid to check her emails or answer the phone, and she just wanted to hide in bed all day. She felt broken, not only by grief but also the ugly legal battle that ensued.
"It broke me and I wasn't allowed to grieve for my husband. You're supposed to be able to sit with your loss and remember them. Instead, I was in court, fighting for things I thought were already mine," she continued.
Eventually, after settling in court and moving out of the home she'd shared with Christopher, Armstrong moved in with one of her daughters. It was an adjustment for her and Hondo to go from a 4,500 square foot home to a 700 square foot basement, but it was the opportunity she needed to start afresh.
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As she lay awake one night, Armstrong went down a rabbit hole of YouTube documentaries and tutorials. She's always been creative and wanted to find something that would keep her busy. Most nights, she'd only sleep for a couple of hours, the rest of the night spent crying, eating, or "feeling stuck."
She wanted to find her purpose again and feel motivated. She thought about painting, sewing, and even candle-making, but nothing enthused her.
"I went back to YouTube, and that's when a video about soap-making popped up. This woman was making soap and talking about how she started because of her skin problems. My granddaughter has eczema, so I thought, maybe I could try making a bar of soap for her. And that's when I realized this might be the thing I'd been looking for," Armstrong told Newsweek.
The first bar she made was a hot process soap with apricot essential oil.
After handing the soap to her daughter, Armstrong felt an overwhelming sense of pride that she hadn't experienced in so long.
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She didn't just stop there, as she began to play around with melt and pour molds to create fun shapes. Armstrong loved seeing the joy that her soaps brought to her children, sons-in-law, and her grandchildren, but what she appreciated the most was the focus it provided her with.
Armstrong said: "That's what I needed at the time. Something to hold my mind in place and keep it from wandering back to everything I was going through. I needed peace, and soap gave me a little piece of it."
Since then, Armstrong estimates that she's made over 1,000 bars of soap by turning her nightly hobby into a business, which she's named Pasli Pelican. She can finally make her own money again, gets to experiment with new ingredients, and created a whole line of products. She's even expanded beyond soaps, as she now makes sunblock, bubble bath, sleep spray, and a soothing salve, and a children's line called Pelican Puffs.
Armstrong never could have imagined that her grief would have led to this, but she knows that Christopher would be so proud of her.
"Soap making gave me purpose again. It gave me something to fixate on, something to pour myself into instead of staying stuck in grief, Armstrong said.
"I love what I'm doing. This has given me a whole new outlook on life. I've lost a lot, but I'm starting to gain again. Knowing I built this, that I kept going and I made something out of all that pain means everything."
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For the first time in over two years, Armstrong finally feels like she's moving forward and healing.
While her initial advice to people is to write a will and avoid leaving anything to chance, she also hopes that her soap business will show the importance of starting over. The grief still remains, but Armstrong has a purpose again and life feels like an adventure once again.
She continued: "After everything I've been through, I say, 'beware the woman in grief. She's already lost everything once. She's not afraid to start over.'
"Don't worry about what other people think. Life is far too short, so write a list of the things you've always wanted to do (especially ones people told you not to) or the ones you were too scared to try, and just start doing them."
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