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By Alyce Collins
Senior Reporter
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Many parents know how frustrating it is when children don't put their toys away after playing with them, often leaving out rogue Lego blocks and Barbie accessories that you may step on later.
Fortunately, behavior analyst Mike Wallach has shared a valuable tip to get kids to clean up after themselves without having to tell them**.** It may seem impossible, but the dad of four said that making this task seem like less of an instruction and more like teamwork is the way to go.
Wallach, 41 who lives in Edmonds, Washington, told Newsweek that "the idea is to avoid yet another demand that may or may not be followed. Instead, just jump in and tell your kid what you're about to do specifically."
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Rather than telling them to start picking up the crayons or the toy trains, Wallach encourages parents to make a point of tidying something up themselves and telling the child that's what you're doing. This in turn should make them want to help out and tidy up something themselves, making the task feel like a joint effort rather than a strict command.
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"Kids will see their parent doing something, and they'll want to join in," Wallach said. "Kids will do this when they perceive it'll be fun, when they feel like they're helping and it's all up to them because no one is telling them what to do."
He continued: "When we are really purposeful with our demands, it's more likely that they will be followed. Even better, when we limit our demands, those instructions that we do give are more likely to be followed. A simple tip like this to help them clean up gives us a chance to limit our demands and get the behavior we want to see."
If this tip is used regularly, Wallach said, it can also build up children's independence and encourage them to tidy up without being told each time. It certainly isn't foolproof, and he admits that it may not work every time, but the parenting tip seems far more effective than others he's tried in the past.
Whenever the tip is put into practice, it's equally important that parents remain "as natural as possible" and to not reward the behavior more than necessary. Wallach said that cleaning up should never be rewarded with candy or money at such a young age, as children must learn that having a tidy home is their responsibility.
"The natural consequence for cleaning is having a tidy house and having the toys ready for the next time you want to play," he said. "We can absolutely reward this behavior with positive comments and attention, but only when children are older should you discuss the idea of chores and how they can be a contributing member of the household."
What Was the Response on Social Media?
After he found that this hack "works like a charm" on his four children, who are between 3 and 10, Wallach wanted to share it online to help the many other parents who face the same struggle daily.
He shared the tip on TikTok (@apparentlyparenting) on September 4, much to the delight of thousands of parents who were grateful for the hack. The video has already been viewed more than 114,000 times and received over 11,100 likes since it was posted.
Hundreds of parents have also commented on the post to thank Wallach for sharing his advice.
One commenter wrote: "Yep, it's been the most effective way I've found to teach my daughter about cleaning up. It's overwhelming to do it all, but easy if dad's helping."
Another said: "Has to be started at young age, but would have worked for my girls. Genius."
One TikTok user wrote: "My son would just clean up a few things and leave the rest to me."
Do you have any amazing parenting tips that you want to share? We want to see the best ones. Send them in to life@newsweek.com and they could appear on our site.
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