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By Lydia Patrick
Life & Trends Reporter
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A woman has sparked an online debate on romantic etiquette after asking whether she should send a follow-up text before a first date.
In a video on TikTok, which garnered 1.1 million views and 34, 800 likes, McCall Capozzi said she met a man on the dating app Hinge. They quickly started texting and made plans to meet, but then he stopped replying.
"A lot of people online, Tinx for example, would be like he hasn't followed up, you're not showing up to that date, and I hear her on that, and I also don't wanna be the one to follow up here. But, I also want to give people the benefit of the doubt," the 30-year-old talent manager from Los Angeles (@mccallcapozzi) said.
Read More on Life
Tinx, otherwise known as Christina Najjar, is a popular influencer, with an Instagram following of 572,000 people, who published The Shift, a dating guide for women, in 2023
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Capozzi displayed a screenshot of the text messages that showed the man suggested they meet at a Japanese restaurant called Owa in Venice, Los Angeles at 8 p.m. on a Monday.
Capozzi replied "Sounds good" but did not hear from him again. She said her options were either to send another text to confirm the plans, show up without confirming or wait for a response that might not come.
According to Capozzi, influencer Tinx would lead the camp of women saying she should neither text nor see the man, since he did not make substantial effort.
TikTok users were divided over the next move the woman should make.
"I think people overthink it. Just send a quick text to him like who cares," Sam said.
"Second this! My golden rule was one more text. And if they didn't respond, thank u, next," said Jillian Kirby.
Though Manda Traver commented: "DONT YOU DARE text that man."
"Why can't you text him? And why are people agreeing that you shouldn't text him? Just say "8 still good?" And the mystery will be over," Casey Cohen asked.
"I would not follow up. I've never known a man who doesn't confirm if he's excited to go," Carly said.
"They might not be a texter which is FINE, but they should have the respect to confirm the day, day before or day of," LD advised.
Capozzi told Newsweek what she decided to do: "I rain-checked, and then he asked if I was free the following Monday. I said yes, and he said 'sounds good, see you then' but then once again never followed up to confirm the place or time, so no concrete plans were made."
The pair did not meet on the Monday, and the next day he texted Capozzi offering to meet that night.
"And at that point I just felt like he wasn't great at taking initiative and I lost interest and never responded.
"I think overall, my opinion on this is that 'dating rules' don't really matter.
"You just have to be yourself and do what feels comfortable for you. In my opinion, saying or doing 'the wrong thing' will never ruin a genuine connection," said Capozzi.
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