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By Lucy Notarantonio
Senior Reporter
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Communication is essential in all aspects of life, and one couple has been praised for nailing it, thanks to these three questions that they ask each other monthly.
Tosin, 31, and her husband, Kieron Cullen, 33, started this tradition after around nine months of dating, having met on the dating app Bumble. Now, it has become a ritual that they swear by to strengthen their relationship.
Tosin, from Atlanta, Georgia, recently racked up over 900,000 views on Instagram after sharing the questions paired with a montage of videos showing the happy couple on their travels. The content creator told Newsweek: "On the 19th of every month, we sit down and ask the same three questions. It's not an argument nor anything of the sort; it's an opportunity to reassess the past month and see what we can do to improve things.
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"We will also say what we are grateful for and say what we might need to do more of, such as date nights," Tosin added.
So far, the clip shared on November 16 to @tosinfinityandbeyond has over 35,000 likes on Instagram. The questions are below:
- What are the things from last month that you appreciated or made you feel loved?
- What's something that has been bothering you that we haven't talked about yet?
- Is there anything you need or something we should work on together?
...
Preply, an online language learning marketplace, surveyed over 2,200 Americans on their worst communication habits. The results found that 60 percent of participants would end a relationship due to poor communication.
Baby Boomers were the best communicators, followed by Generation X and Millennials, with Generation Z being the worst. The top-three most difficult topics for Americans to discuss are relationship problems, mental health and money.
For primary school teacher Kieron, the check-ins have been particularly helpful as he has been known to avoid difficult conversations in the past.
Kieron, from Dublin, Ireland, told Newsweek: "I am an introvert and avoid any sort of conflict rather than speak about it."
Tosin said that they rarely row and they never bottle up their feelings ahead of the check-in date.
She added: "It isn't like a formal meeting where we both turn up with notes!
"If something bothers us prior to the date, we will discuss it but, because of the check-ins, we don't have arguments very often.
"I can count how many times on one hand that we have fallen out," Tosin said.
"I am an empath, so everything means something to me and I don't want things to slip under the rug. I need to be able to speak about everything."
Kieron added: "It's a great opportunity to become aware of the little things that make a huge difference. For example: sometimes I send Tosin a random nice message and I had no idea about how much of an impact it had until she suggested sending more."
The couple, who tied the knot earlier this year in June, said that they are grateful for the tradition and encourage others to give it a go.
Tosin said: "The check-ins can be daily, weekly, or monthly; it's all about what works for you.
"It's not for everyone as every relationship is different, but it works for us, and I am really glad we do it. There's no harm in trying it," Tosin added.
It looks like other Instagram users are on board, with one person posting: "This is so smart."
"Love these - thanks for sharing!" posted another.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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